I've tried to resist the urge to give in and I'm still resisting that urge. Most people who know me well, know that from day one of joining the 'Senior Service', on a full time basis, I knew that the Royal Navy was not for me. Nonetheless, I didn't even have the money to get home from HMS Raleigh, let alone the financial stability to pay off my debts.
Although, relatively speaking, I didn't owe much. It's not like I had a mortgage and a great big Wonga loan with interest increasing by the day. Yet, I had an overdraft of a couple of grand (which I had been living off for seven years), a few hundred on my credit card, and, most importantly, I owed a fair bit to the people I loved. Do I regret owing the money? Yes and no. I am a lucky guy in the sense that I have had a brilliant life. My Grandad told me, 'Don't grow up too quickly: enjoy being young while you can.' That I did, I've been to festival after festival, gig after gig, god knows how many Everton matches, and an innumerable number of nights and days out. Not to mention the money spent on rehearsals and recordings with my bands. None of this I regret, as I have always hated letting opportunities pass me by and have tended to regret them if I had. Quite ironically, joining the Navy has seen me let opportunity after opportunity pass me by: The FA Cup Semi-Final, League Cup Semi-Final, Tony Bellow's boxing match at Goodison (where he became the World Champ), Download Festival (again) and that's just a bit of what I've missed this year alone. Yet, I have paid off my debts and for the first time in my life I'm in a financially sound position.
Those who know me know that money means fuckall to me. You can't take it with you and the love of it is why the world is so fucked up. Yet, I am currently a slave to it. I have plans and those plans cost money. I'm a sensible person and I know I need to build a future. I have a date in my head: 2020. That's when I'll leave the Navy. That's when I'll really start enjoying myself again. That's when me and Nat can see a fair bit of the world and hopefully settle down and get a mortgage the year after. 
We've already seen a fair bit of it together: Ireland, Mexico, Greece, and Australia, as well as many places in the UK, where we've enjoyed more than a few pub-crawls. She gave me a card a year or two ago saying, 'To my Boyfriend and Best-friend' and that hit home. I'm a really lucky guy in the sense I have so many amazing friends. Another line from Gemma, 'Don't worry about people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it into your future' strikes a chord. I have surrounded myself with amazing people and ignored the toxic. Natalie is my best friend amongst many of the best friends a person could ask for. They're our friends and we love you all to bits.
This is what makes it hard to be in 'The Forces'. The problem with having the best family, the best friends, the best girlfriend, support the best football team, and come from the best city in the world, is that it is so hard to say goodbye, and as a Navigation Officer once said to me, 'The thing that unites everybody in the Forces is that everybody is always trying to get home.'
Hopefully, all this will be worth it in the end. Although I know I could be a local Councillor, a teacher, and a researcher, with the ability to go to the games and gigs I want, as well as being in a kickass band, I know I wouldn't have the money to build a future and see the world. I need that deposit money and the financial means to go the places I want to go.
I've just attended a ceremony in Edinburgh (an astonishingly beautiful city), with my mum and dad, where I finally received my Duke of Edinburgh Gold award. Now me and my dad want to do the 'once in a lifetime' Diamond Award together, to raise money for local charities: my next goal - climbing Snowdon with 'me ahl fella'. Thank you to everybody who has helped me with everything I have achieved throughout my short yet colourful life, so far. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. NIL SATIS NISI OPTIMUM. I'm sure I'll enjoy the view better from the top of the hill.
KD
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