Thursday 8 September 2011

Swings and roundabouts

Last night I went to bed with the world at my feet, and I today I woke up to hear some very bad news. It sort of put things into perspective for me, and reminded me that life is far, far too short.

I feel like I have another year and a half to go before my 'life' can begin. Seventeen years of none stop education sort of takes it out of you, and I've got another year and half to go. I wanted to leave uni in my first year, but persevered. Then again, they say you don't appreciate it until It's over. I understood that when I got my degree, but now I'm sort of back to feeling how I did in my first year. Moreover, I have now been in the Navy for over a year and still have not passed out. I feel I was ready six months ago! Injured for August, September cancelled, roll on October. I do always say look on the bright side, and try to practice what I preach, but sometimes things just take the piss!

I know life's just a lesson but fucking hell I've passed enough tests haven't I? Well come on 'calm down and carry on' only about a year and half, and a few more to go.

I am also once again becoming acutely aware that the nice guy seems to continuously finish last. I'm sick of it. When I acted like a complete and utter prick, who genuinely had little regard for how his actions hurt others, thing's where going so well, when I changed and tried to be nice, I just keep getting hurt. On that point though, I WILL NOT BUDGE! No "Nice guys finish last" is just something dicks say, to justify being dicks. Still, College was a long time ago.

I know I have an amazing family and some brilliant friends, and I have a lot to be grateful for in terms of the John Lennon Memorial Fund, but I did work quite hard to get hold of the latter. I suppose that's an example of the nice guy finishing first, but still, I guess I just feel a bit down. Roll on Sonisphere!