Much Love..

Today is the day I get my result (as in 2.1 or 2.2) but I am more bothered about events of this week which have been genuinely awesome. After returning from a kickass trip in London after coming back from Download festival and having partied hard with both my college and uni mates over the last few weeks I have have landed in a situation which extended my smile further.

Having already been offered a CRB Check (paid for by the college) and the opportunity of weekly classroom experience by Miss Anslow (principle of my old awesome College KGV), when being introduced to the new Head of Politics, Mr Porter ran over to shake my hand. After much love; in responce to my assertion, "you have gone up in the world. Head of Geography aye?", DP responded, "..Do you know when asked in my interview for for department head 'what had been the highlight of my teaching career?' I responded 'teaching Keith Daniel Roberts'." Miss Anslow responded "That's exactly what he said." I have ever felt euphoria like it. This feeling topped that of being applauded in the A.J. after our SOS Campaign. The following positive responces I received from tutors such as Glenn Skelhorne when asking if I could work in their classes reasserted how much I loved the College and want to teach in it. As I said to Miss Anslow when I left, "one thing that has never changed and has been a continuing characteristic of my time here, is that I always leave with a smile on my face."

I feel like I have the best family on earth! an old school propa working class family that I wouldn't change for the world. Apart from rocking more than anything else on the planet, the Oasis line 'true perfection has to be imperfect' applies to my family. There is never a dull moment and continuity is always qualified by evolving phenomena. But ultimately the connection and love that is present shall never wither.

I will soon be returning to Southport 'the gem of the scouse riviera'; my second home. This opportunity is thanks to my amazing friends who have opened a door to which I shall joyfully enter, the apprehension is that the door is revolving :/ but another friends comments come to the fore here: 'in order to be old and wise, you have to be young and stupid'. - Leah. What doesn't kill you make's you stronger. Nietzsche your words ought apply not just to me but (ironically as a German) to the English football team..

A successful summer?

Woke up this morning in a hot sweat: I had a dream that I had just badly failed my last exam (for some reason a module in German! :?) I was both traumatised and distraught in the dream. I can only take this as a mental response to something my good friend Sarah said to me. 'you may be getting too ahead of yourself wait and see what your results are' (paraphrased because my memory sucks). I find out on the 1st what grade I got, e.g. 2.2 or a 2.1 although I don't get my module breakdown until the 5th. My ceremony is on the 21st and tbh I will be over the moon with my family in my cap and gown graduating along with all of my awesome uni mates. When I think back to the end of my second year, a 2.2 would be about right, but the way I have worked this year I will be extremely disappointed if I don't come away with a 2.1 not least because a 2.1 is a prerequisite to getting onto my Masters. I may however be able to get onto the course with a high 2.2 due to my form this year or do another Masters in another University, which will certainly be satisfactory. Hopefully though it will not come to this.

I wrote a to do list a few weeks ago after coming back from Download Festival I am slowly ticking it off.

"Nervous Breakdown Territory to do list"

-Write letters to old friends

-Fill in Career Development Loan Form

-Send off Disabled Students Allowance Form~~DONE

-Send off/ make copies of & finalise insurance claim~~DONE

-Find a job

-Sort out room & find my wallet ring and watch~~DONE

-Upload Download photos & tag them~~DONE

-Write blog~~DONE

-Find out wtf is happening with a certain person~~DONE

-Talk to Tom~~DONE

-Go to KGV & sort out work experience starting September 2010

-Get dissertation off Mum~~DONE & print new once's for Professor Frank Neal etc

-Talk to Dad~~DONE

-Speak to Becky

-Sort out London, ~~DONE Leeds, & Alton Towers

-Speak to Joe Benton MP~~DONE

-Finish John Lennon Application, get supporting evidence & send off

-Get off ciggies for good~~DONE

-Start application for Naval Reserves [HMS Eaglet]

-Apply for Edge Hill course in advance & delay it until 2011

-Join a new band

-Sort out all the stuff in my Nan's

-Go to the Dentist

-Driving Lessons?

-Read 3 books over summer

If I can achieve all of this I have had a successful summer :)

Not how I thought I'd feel :/

After 22 Exams, over 55,000 words of essay writing, 242 Lectures, 121 Seminars, a 13,552 word dissertation and 4 interviews it's all over... I have completed my Degree! Furthermore, I had a brilliant day. But I thought I'd feel different, thought I'd be so relieved but I am anxious and worried.

I have loads to do, apply for bursaries and money for my MA, job search. I'm thinking about thinks I have achieved over the last few years and all the wonderful people I have met and become friends with. Though I am also thinking more about people who I have lost, and some people who have come and gone along the way.

I suppose I should take a leaf out my own book and 'compare down not up' or again be enlightened by Gemski's words 'don't worry about people in the past, there's a reason they didn't make it into your future'. I don't know maybe this mini melancholy is down to my neo on-off relationship with nicotine, or maybe it is angst of some sort, I know financially I could be sounder and money shopping or job hunting is rather stressful stuff. Anyway's I'll be at Download come this Wednesday which will clearly be awesome :P Maybe by next Monday there will be a much more smiley post KD xx

What friends are for..

To make a load of shirt for your final exam saying 'I know the Legend that is KD', and wear them; that's what friend's are for, to listen to you moan about despite having everything still missing that thing, that's what friends are for, to come out drinking with you after your final exam, to hear you egotistically rant then shoot you down cause your being a wozzack, to fix the cut on your knee when you fall of the stage in krazyhouse!, to look after you at the end of the night when you wanna keep partying but can't stand properly, too see them after years pissed get a wide smile hug them and say 'ill see you soon dude, me n' him were in it together', to say 'KD now's the time to leave McDonald's' before the bouncers get you, to go home in a taxi with you, cuddling and having a laugh before you go to be suitably chastised by your nan', that indeed people is what friends are for. KD xx

I love you all :P

A stones-throw away..

Last exam tomorrow; although I am full of trepidation I am quietly confident. Is this an oxymoron? Revised what I needed to.. well went through and re-wrote lecture notes, that's the policy I have had all the way through the round of revision it seems it changes each times. I know what I need to do to get the top marks but it is a lot of hard work and involves making a type of picture out of info-takes an awful long time though it does pay off I once got 98/100 in a Politics module doing this @ A-level; it worked with Sartre too I just read Nietzsche and epically failed. Do you remember the days when you used to get 98% on exams and be gutted that some1 go 100%! I am now generally pleased if I get a 58 - 61. I have got all 2/1s in every essay this year and know I have done really well (possibly 1st in my dissertation) but exams are my downfall. I just hope they don't drag me down too much.

What will be, will be. I have had a kickass time this last year in Uni, and the experience as a whole has matured me, even if my radicalism has somewhat been diluted. When you think of how many people have failed or dropped out you know that nomatter what score you get tomorrow you will be a BA Honours... although hopefully I will do enough to achieve a 2/1 and get onto my MA course:

either way.. in less than 11 hours I will have achieved the minimum I wanted in life & I'll be free.

Approaching the finish line..

OK perhaps a rather egotistical title for a blog page, but.. I like it :P

In light of recent revelations I am so close I can smell it. Yes, soon my second phase of further education will be complete, but; Stress, stress and more stress. A million things are going on at the minute, my head is all over the place: it is Exam revision time, my least favourite time of the year when every little thing seems a thousand times more interesting than usual. Make no mistake procrastination has set in; hence the setting up of this page.

To add to difficulties I have been burgled a new experience and one I would not like to experience again if it's all the same to you Mr Burgler (see how sexist I am assuming it was a man). Luckily I have taken mitigating measures and taking up insurance at the start of the year; I can already tell however, that reclaiming my items is going to be a long, drawn out process. I do complain but it really could have been a lot worse. Whereas my PS3, Stereo System, Watch and Aftershaves being stolen is indeed an unpleasant experience, I was more concerned about their grubby little hands touching my personal, sentimental stuff which they went through, I assume for money or some sort of auto-erotic asphyxiation tool if they were Tory Burglers. Anyway's my photos and other sentimental items appear untouched. More annoying was how they ignored every other room in the house and made a beeline for mine.

It is 3.29am and I have not revised for a day, my mind has been elsewhere. I know when I am most happy and what makes me most happy has been absent for a while now; perhaps I am a strange boy, but whereas many of my sex would be content with what I am lucky enough to have become accustomed to over the last year, I am used to more and want it again. I seem to have sacrificed it for my academic progress this year, it has introduced itself in a few forms recently, but I have a certain form in my memory that I can't help but look back on with rose tinted glasses and try and recreate in a contemporary rejuvenated form. I seem to forget that it didn't arise easily last time, but when it did there was nothing comparable to it. Perhaps it will come to the for once again in the summer and a true smile will once again rise on my face. I have an absolutely kickass time at festivals, family meals, footy, the fair, party's etc but there is often a noticeable absentee.

I love my family and have some of the best friends in the world, but there is something to be said about the other person who completes you.