My Reef (at least for a morning)

I woke in time for the sunrise.  It was beautiful.  The camera doesn’t do it justice.

 Slowly, the light spread across the sky and the beach came to life.  Not a soul in sight.  I’m going for a swim, I thought.  I didn’t have a snorkel or scuba gear.  Just my usual goggles and trunks.  I left my phone behind, grabbed a towel, went down barefoot.  I haven’t brought flip-flops.  Every bit counts when your luggage is at the limit.  The stones hurt my feet; the sciatica nagged, but I knew swimming would help.  Every step was uncomfortable, until I hit the sand.  

Then it started to drizzle.  No, I’m going anyway.  I stashed my towel, dipped a toe in.  It was a little cold, but definitely bearable; a lot better than the Mersey, I guessed.  With each step deeper, I felt better.  Water up to my shoulders, goggles on, off I went.  Breaststroke first, calm and steady.  Not much to see at first. I was hoping this wasn’t another example of people destroying a natural habitat.  Then a translucent fish; beautiful.  It’s friend appeared. I ensured I kept up steady breathing.  In the Royal Navy, a PTI once spotted that I didn’t really know how to swim properly.  He fixed that: forty minutes on breathing alone, then technique.  Since then the water’s felt like home.  I swam towards the cliff face.  A dozen striped fish, yellow, black, white, silver - stunning.  Then two even more beautiful, and a whole shoal right beside them.  I drifted near the rocks, staying still.  Fish were everywhere now. 

Then it hit me.  This is a tropical reef.  

I looked around; no one. Yesterday it had been packed with snorkellers, divers, kids, and influencers.  This morning, it was mine.  I swam on, hovered near a shoal of tiny translucent fish.  I stayed still and suddenly I was surrounded; right in the eye of a whirlpool of fish.  They weren’t afraid.  Then a flash above, tiny bodies scattering from some unseen predator and there I was still and peaceful, thinking, this is serenity.  Crystal clear and quiet.  Maybe on a future trip, I’ll look for a coral reef.  

I skipped a party beach I was invited to last night.  I came for this instead and it was absolutely the right call.  For nearly two hours, it was my private reef.  Eventually, I floated back and walked up the shore.  Beautiful music was playing. The bar had just opened. I asked about breakfast and promised myself scrambled eggs.  After a shower, I decided to write this.  

I haven’t blogged in years, but maybe this is the first of many, because this morning, Monday, 17th August 2026, it was my reef.

Coming soon:

My publisher was in touch the other day, having finally got back from sea and managed to dot the 'I's and cross the 'T's, I've been informed that earliest the book will be out is April 2017 - more likely June 2017. It's a while to wait, but this process does take time, as I'm finding out, but, to be honest, I'm still buzzing that I'm going to be a published author. 

Anyway, having completed all my amendments I am left with time on my hands. This is the first time in my adult life that I have been able to finish work and actually relax. I'm reading books, blogs, watching films, playing computer games, or just scrolling through facebook, and I'm loving it.  

Me and Nat have also just booked a two week holiday in Amoudara, Heraklion Area, of Crete.  I love Greece, from the mythology, to the philosophy (currently re-reading Plato's 'The Last Day's of Socrates'), to the computer game 'Master of Olympus: Zeus', where you build your own ancient Greek cities, all the way to Willy Russell's 'Shirley Valentine'.  Going to 'Shirley's' Mykonos is definitely on mine and Nat's bucketlist, as is seeing every Greek island we can get to, but how beautiful is this, please?  

  

It's one of the few advantages of working like a dog, I now have the money to book things like this, whilst simultaneously saving for my future.  

I've also booked this boss gig: 

   

This weekend, after tomorrow's 24 hour duty (consisting of another store-ship and three three-hour-stints of gun sentry) Nat is coming up to see me (first time we've seen each other, in person, in six months) at the base for a few days.  In fact, it'll be ten days together, here and in Liverpool, interrupted only by another 24 hour duty on Tuesday.  However, I have secured October, in its entirety, for leave, and I'm predicting a fair amount of time off in September and November too.  

Coming soon: an Everton match (or ten!), a boss night out, a trip to the pictures, a gig, an adventure climbing Snowdon, a reunion with my band, a friend's wedding, and finally, fulfilling a lifelong ambition to see Billy Connolly live, something I never thought I'd be able to do, and we're seeing him in Liverpool! Sound that!

Writing this blog has cheered me up.  Potentially I'm at sea for the best part of a year, in 2017, so I'm making the most of all the free time I have.  If you're not enjoying life, re-assess it.  I truly despise my job at times, but i'm using it instrumentally to get to where I want to be in life.  'Time on goes slow and time off just goes', as one of my Sub-Surface Meditations states (watch this space), so I made a decision to enjoy every second I can, while I can.  Life is for living, so live. 

Work Hard: Play Harder.

'It is easier to go down a hill than up..but the view is better from the top.'

Thanks Gemma for those top words.

I've tried to resist the urge to give in and I'm still resisting that urge.  Most people who know me well, know that from day one of joining the 'Senior Service', on a full time basis, I knew that the Royal Navy was not for me.  Nonetheless, I didn't even have the money to get home from HMS Raleigh, let alone the financial stability to pay off my debts.

Although, relatively speaking, I didn't owe much.  It's not like I had a mortgage and a great big Wonga loan with interest increasing by the day.  Yet, I had an overdraft of a couple of grand (which I had been living off for seven years), a few hundred on my credit card, and, most importantly, I owed a fair bit to the people I loved.  Do I regret owing the money?  Yes and no.  I am a lucky guy in the sense that I have had a brilliant life.  My Grandad told me, 'Don't grow up too quickly: enjoy being young while you can.'  That I did, I've been to festival after festival, gig after gig, god knows how many Everton matches, and an innumerable number of nights and days out.  Not to mention the money spent on rehearsals and recordings with my bands.  None of this I regret, as I have always hated letting opportunities pass me by and have tended to regret them if I had.  Quite ironically, joining the Navy has seen me let opportunity after opportunity pass me by: The FA Cup Semi-Final, League Cup Semi-Final, Tony Bellow's boxing match at Goodison (where he became the World Champ), Download Festival (again) and that's just a bit of what I've missed this year alone.  Yet, I have paid off my debts and for the first time in my life I'm in a financially sound position.

Those who know me know that money means fuckall to me.  You can't take it with you and the love of it is why the world is so fucked up.  Yet, I am currently a slave to it.  I have plans and those plans cost money.  I'm a sensible person and I know I need to build a future.  I have a date in my head: 2020.  That's when I'll leave the Navy.  That's when I'll really start enjoying myself again.  That's when me and Nat can see a fair bit of the world and hopefully settle down and get a mortgage the year after.

We've already seen a fair bit of it together: Ireland, Mexico, Greece, and Australia, as well as many places in the UK, where we've enjoyed more than a few pub-crawls.  She gave me a card a year or two ago saying, 'To my Boyfriend and Best-friend' and that hit home.  I'm a really lucky guy in the sense I have so many amazing friends.  Another line from Gemma, 'Don't worry about people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it into your future' strikes a chord.  I have surrounded myself with amazing people and ignored the toxic.  Natalie is my best friend amongst many of the best friends a person could ask for.  They're our friends and we love you all to bits.

This is what makes it hard to be in 'The Forces'.  The problem with having the best family, the best friends, the best girlfriend, support the best football team, and come from the best city in the world, is that it is so hard to say goodbye, and as a Navigation Officer once said to me, 'The thing that unites everybody in the Forces is that everybody is always trying to get home.'

Hopefully, all this will be worth it in the end.  Although I know I could be a local Councillor, a teacher, and a researcher, with the ability to go to the games and gigs I want, as well as being in a kickass band, I know I wouldn't have the money to build a future and see the world.  I need that deposit money and the financial means to go the places I want to go.

I've just attended a ceremony in Edinburgh (an astonishingly beautiful city), with my mum and dad, where I finally received my Duke of Edinburgh Gold award.  Now me and my dad want to do the 'once in a lifetime' Diamond Award together, to raise money for local charities: my next goal - climbing Snowdon with 'me ahl fella'.  Thank you to everybody who has helped me with everything I have achieved throughout my short yet colourful life, so far.  I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.  NIL SATIS NISI OPTIMUM.  I'm sure I'll enjoy the view better from the top of the hill.

KD

: P

Things are going very well. Boss mates, boss family, beautiful girlfriend. Nearing the end of the Ph.D (The most stressful thing I've ever done in my life and I've still got over half of it to write in less than a year, doesn't bare thinking about) Navy's going well. Life is good. :D

Swings and roundabouts

Last night I went to bed with the world at my feet, and I today I woke up to hear some very bad news. It sort of put things into perspective for me, and reminded me that life is far, far too short.

I feel like I have another year and a half to go before my 'life' can begin. Seventeen years of none stop education sort of takes it out of you, and I've got another year and half to go. I wanted to leave uni in my first year, but persevered. Then again, they say you don't appreciate it until It's over. I understood that when I got my degree, but now I'm sort of back to feeling how I did in my first year. Moreover, I have now been in the Navy for over a year and still have not passed out. I feel I was ready six months ago! Injured for August, September cancelled, roll on October. I do always say look on the bright side, and try to practice what I preach, but sometimes things just take the piss!

I know life's just a lesson but fucking hell I've passed enough tests haven't I? Well come on 'calm down and carry on' only about a year and half, and a few more to go.

I am also once again becoming acutely aware that the nice guy seems to continuously finish last. I'm sick of it. When I acted like a complete and utter prick, who genuinely had little regard for how his actions hurt others, thing's where going so well, when I changed and tried to be nice, I just keep getting hurt. On that point though, I WILL NOT BUDGE! No "Nice guys finish last" is just something dicks say, to justify being dicks. Still, College was a long time ago.

I know I have an amazing family and some brilliant friends, and I have a lot to be grateful for in terms of the John Lennon Memorial Fund, but I did work quite hard to get hold of the latter. I suppose that's an example of the nice guy finishing first, but still, I guess I just feel a bit down. Roll on Sonisphere!

"I wanna be a billionaire so freakin bad"

O.K. a bit misleading, just a really cool song. This is my first blog in a long time, and much has happened. Gone through the motions as we do, but things are good, things are very good. Had an absolutely brilliant day on my birthday with my awesome friends and family, taught my first seminars, learned some really cool tunes on guitar today, in general getting back into music, physically fit again, (after being out with injury), Navy is going well, PhD is coming along very nicely, been asked to give a talk on Liverpool's political history to some tour guides and being paid for it, the blues are playing well, Labour did well in the local elections, and I'm looking forward to a holiday away with pals and Sonisphere festival!! :D

On the note of elections, it seems that every election campaign I get behind, i.e. work for, the candidate wins. I have a 100% record so far. 2010 Joe Benton (elected and increased his majority), Bill Esterson (Won newly created marginal, Tories were favourite), 2011 was behind Maev and Bob's campaigns in the uni election and they both became student officers (Maev became President) and Diane Roberts won Manor ward, (first time Labour has had that seat since 1991) Of course the main work is done by others, I think I may merely be a 'good luck charm' of sorts :P

Anyway in a nutshell, very happy atm and things are looking up, this is very much down to my awesome friends and family. Cheers guys ^_^ KD xxx

'Life's been good to me so far..'

KD is absolutely loving life. I truly believe I am one of the luckiest little bastards in the UK atm. Officially a Royal Naval Reservist, an Aim higher Associate (one of the last), and of course doing this ridiculously amazing topic for my FUNDED! Phd. I have heard quite a few times 'that sounds like an awesome topic' or 'I wish I had done something like that'. Love it!! Also having the best family in the world is a real fucking bonus. As is irreplaceable friends, to say I love you guys would be an understatement. Of course the 'Monday Crew' has departed, but upon graduation my Dad told me to talk to people as if it was the last time I would see them, as people always seem to go their own ways. In fact, I have met and spoke to all of them subsequently and this kid like jubilation runs through my body when I see them. You made University for me people, and I adore you for it.

I am also currently somewhat of a media darling. Having featured in the Liverpool Echo, Daily Post, Daily Star and been on Granada Reports, BBC North West Tonight and now the One Show! we are getting noticed for leading the way against this evil lib-con coalition. They make me sick! Anyway, not to put a dampener on things, I also received some lovely and kind words from various students and lecturers calling me the expert and soon to be authority on my topic. Music is also going very well, my writers spark has come back. To reaffirm I love life.

Only wish the Everton boys would pull their sock up :?

Progress..

Another 40 minute run achieved and 22 more pages read; slowly but surely I am making progress. I am combating the stress of having things to do, by (ow yes) actually doing them. Sort of endorsing the dreaded target system (but self imposed realistic, yet demanding targets) which are ensuring progress. I have many things which I want to achieve and much to do in order to achieve them. A sufferer of Dylexia and Dyspraxia reading is by no means fun but I am trying to make it so. I am currently reading a book that makes the study of Philosophy seem a recreational hobby. The hardest thing is starting and if I get the most difficult stuff out of the way first everything else will be like a walk in the park... that is what I am telling myself whilst I struggle on a daily basis to get through the monotonous debris that is "Democracy & Sectarianism a political and social history of Liverpool 1868-1939". I shall however muddle through. The bullet has been bitten and I am committed to spending yet another 3 years of my life to academia.. not only that I am also considering studying an MA in Philosophy too.. I may be mad.

To add to stress, work experience is taking too long to come through (you offer your time and technicalities get in the way), I too have become Student Rep for Politics Research Students and have a Senate election to prepare for. Add to the equation demands of the RNR, Labour stuff, Juditsu, 5-a side, Duke of Edinburgh Gold, Guitar, family commitments and soon, work as a youth mentor I am a very busy bunny. So much so that my one true recreational pass time facebook has become a chore. Alas, I am even finding it difficult to make time for friends and for FF7!!. Yet, I am committed and will struggle through. I am making progress and all this hard work will pay off, and indeed, it will all be worth it :D

"It's all Good!"

Iv'e just came in and made myself a lovely cup of tea after my first 42 minute run :D ... I intend to do one 40 minute run now every week for the majority of the rest of my life. I had two 3 minute breaks today so the total time was 48 minutes. Surprisingly, I still have energy left to sort my room (after food and shower), and to write this blog.

Soooo What has been going on in the world of KD over the last Month and and 10 days? Well much stress followed by much stress relief. A Lack of finance and job sucked ass especially when I reached my lowest point and had to sell my Leeds ticket (although V Festival Rocked! and thank you Claire for providing resources to go if you are reading). Now however things are really starting to shape up :P

Having been awarded the prestigious John Lennon Memorial Scholarship (one of 3 people granted the honour), not even being denied credit to buy a new guitar can get me down too much as by the end of November I shall hopefully never be skint again (giving Nan my cash card to insure this lol). It gives me faith that Karma works. I now do not have to worry about my tuition fees, nor too much about living expenses. I can concentrate on my extra curricular activities that will give me much more experience than working part time so yey!

With an awesome family and some of the best mates in the world.. as well as the fact I'm going to meet Phsyco-pat and watch Everton kick Newcastle's ass tomorrow, what is there not to be happy about please? In the words of the McCaine's advert; "It's all Good!"

Keep it D!

In eager anticipation..

I am sitting in Sunny-less Carmarthenshire, watching Cardiff getting beat my Sheffield UTD. I am missing my lovely, but I am anticipating her return and indeed my return to Liverpool. My obsession with my City is growing as the literature is helping expand my mind. Merseyside is the centre of the Universe and Scousers are, (as my Nan put's it) the 'salt of the earth!'.

Although somewhat dissapointed at my absence from Sonisphere, I am in eager anticipation at seeing Blink, Limp Bizkit, Paramore, You me at Six etc at Leeds Fest. I am also looking forward to starting my PhD, my lil date, away matches, and even finding a decent Job. (No Mrs Jobcentre plus lady, I will not accept the shitty jobs you find for me and will forward half assed applications highlighting my worse qualities, thus will find a job I will enjoy). I am also looking forward to gaining teaching experience in KGV. Yes everything remains to be rosey. I g2g Food has arrived :D

Keep it D!!

The next few years of the rest of my life - plan!

So a new chapter is to be wrote. I am currently a blank canvass or an open book or whatever. Having discovered myself in the Echo for the second time I am all smiley as it has finally sank in that I have completed my lovely Degree :D

Awesome friends, amazing nights out, Everton, and a Family that I would not swap for the world!

Can times get any better? Well yes they can and indeed they have. :P All the pieces seem to be slotting into place and life just keeps improving - Everton too keep getting better.

So I am left with a scenario, and ambitions to fill. I obviously would love to live 7 times and be a Rockstar, a Blue Legend, a full time Hippy/ Environmentalist, an RAF Pilot (eventually an Astronaut), an MD, a Gamer/ Actor/ Dolite Bum, and of course my current project in Academia. But Buddhism aside the scenario of 7 life's for KD is unlikely to emerge.

So what of my current Path what do I want to achieve, what do I want to Conquer? Well Blogger friends and followers here is rough indication of what I would be content in achieving in the next few splendid years of the rest of my life ^_^

- Get the rest of my planned Tattoos

- Get Married and have beautiful yet destructive Children

- Be a Best Man

- Get my PhD/ write my proposed work

- Become a University Lecturer (hopefully in UOL)

- Watch Everton win the League

- Visit New Zealand

- See Antarctica

- Bungee jump

- Sky Dive
- Get a Mortgage.. have a music and games room!

- Watch both my Brother and Sister graduate then allow them to bum of me until they get a job

- I suppose I should really get a Job and get off the Dole :l

- Own a bar or have a crack at managing one in 'retirement'!!.. maybe

- Go to Alton Towers for two days

- Go to Download with a Camper Van and many Friends

- Go to Download, Leeds, Sonisphere and V Festival all in the same year!! (this maybe the most difficult of challenges)

- Save the planet from it's stupidity and paint it Green and Royal Blue

- Have an ice pop and then a Lion bar

- Do some serious voluntary/ charity work

- Learn to Drive

- Learn to Cook

- Watch Everton win the Champions League, Penguins get their revenge and England win something.. the latter maybe dependent upon having Everton players cement places in the England squad.

- Buy my Mummy and Nanny a Bungalow.. they can both share it :P

If I can achieve 70% of this list I have had a successful and colourful little life

Keep it D!!

It's all over..

Having planned to clean up and sort out over a room and half's worth of shit that is inevitably acquired over a spell of 5 years independent living, I have reached the 'that'll fucking do' stage. Evidently I am still to sort out my pictures, fill in many forms, and phone many people. I commented a few days ago on the facebook that 'I am doing more now than during my finals'; this is a situation that has not changed, but I have finally found time to write my blog :)

It is indeed all over: a chapter of my life draws to a close. I have completed my BA Honours Politics Degree and am now, for the first time in a long while predicting that all will run smoothly.. (this prediction is aimed at my last undergraduate task: my graduation ceremony) Of course, life is a roller-coaster, it is one of the things that makes it exciting. Inevitably, this roller-coaster will continue and present both anguish and ecstasy throughout the rest of Mr D's short but colourful life. However, having undergone such extreme high's and low's over the last few years, I hope that I am not prematurely hypothesising a smoother ride from now on. Here's hoping I haven't jinxed it and I become Prime Minister only to be gang-raped and locked up by Tories.

Anyway's, I have so much I want to do - Sonisphere, V Festival, Preston, Norwich, Wolfburg, Alton Towers, my first foreign holiday in 7 years, driving lessons: grr I'll be raking it in soon, but momentarily I'm on my ass. I wish the Money Fairy would just come and give me a 'Having Fun' Loan: It's O.K. though, after feeling out of my depth in first year, I got a higher Dissertation mark than all of those Posh Students! ^_^

Btw got a Blackberry and onto a PhD Course at a Russell Group University. Good Ximes :P

I've done it!!

I've done it!! I have got my 2.1!

All day I had been thinking I would only get a 2.2. I had prepared myself for the worst so much so that I was convinced I would get a score of 57. but I didn't I got over 60 and got a 2.1 thus I got onto my MA and do not have to change or amend my plans. It was all going too well and I was expecting this to be the thing that dragged me back down.. it did not. My feelings of apprehension however are diluting as I am believing perhaps naively that is may just be uphill (in the main) from now on. Maybe I have learned the major lessons I had to and can now get on with constructing my future. I don't know but whatever happens it will be hard to top that feeling I had today when I looked at that noticeboard.

I fell back in jubilation laughing and grinning to such a large extent. My hands covering my face and a PHD student thought I was crying. I was not. I stood up and gave two thumbs up to Kevin Hickson (my personal tutor) continuing to grin and leap around in excitement I could not hold in my joy. After hearing 'has he calmed down yet, bring him in', a long talk with KH ensued in which we discussed my Dissertation score which was a 78!! a 1st the highest in the year and the highest the Head of Politics Jon Tonge had ever given. In fact the external markers had brought my mark up two points.

After a terrible first year in which I failed to achieve a single 2.1 in any module and after achieving only three 2.1's in my second year, the difference has been unreal. Exams have always been my downfall. I know what I ought do to pass them, but often I do not undertake the necessary revision methods hence suck at exams. Luckily, there are few exams in my MA so I can only build upon what I have. Is it naive at this point to be aiming for a Distinction in my Masters?

Whatever the weather, I have spent 3 years doing this I have got what I needed... and made many awesome friends in the process. Although tbh would I have swapped my life experiences for a higer grade? Would I shite! ... Love you Guys :D

Much Love..

Today is the day I get my result (as in 2.1 or 2.2) but I am more bothered about events of this week which have been genuinely awesome. After returning from a kickass trip in London after coming back from Download festival and having partied hard with both my college and uni mates over the last few weeks I have have landed in a situation which extended my smile further.

Having already been offered a CRB Check (paid for by the college) and the opportunity of weekly classroom experience by Miss Anslow (principle of my old awesome College KGV), when being introduced to the new Head of Politics, Mr Porter ran over to shake my hand. After much love; in responce to my assertion, "you have gone up in the world. Head of Geography aye?", DP responded, "..Do you know when asked in my interview for for department head 'what had been the highlight of my teaching career?' I responded 'teaching Keith Daniel Roberts'." Miss Anslow responded "That's exactly what he said." I have ever felt euphoria like it. This feeling topped that of being applauded in the A.J. after our SOS Campaign. The following positive responces I received from tutors such as Glenn Skelhorne when asking if I could work in their classes reasserted how much I loved the College and want to teach in it. As I said to Miss Anslow when I left, "one thing that has never changed and has been a continuing characteristic of my time here, is that I always leave with a smile on my face."

I feel like I have the best family on earth! an old school propa working class family that I wouldn't change for the world. Apart from rocking more than anything else on the planet, the Oasis line 'true perfection has to be imperfect' applies to my family. There is never a dull moment and continuity is always qualified by evolving phenomena. But ultimately the connection and love that is present shall never wither.

I will soon be returning to Southport 'the gem of the scouse riviera'; my second home. This opportunity is thanks to my amazing friends who have opened a door to which I shall joyfully enter, the apprehension is that the door is revolving :/ but another friends comments come to the fore here: 'in order to be old and wise, you have to be young and stupid'. - Leah. What doesn't kill you make's you stronger. Nietzsche your words ought apply not just to me but (ironically as a German) to the English football team..

A successful summer?

Woke up this morning in a hot sweat: I had a dream that I had just badly failed my last exam (for some reason a module in German! :?) I was both traumatised and distraught in the dream. I can only take this as a mental response to something my good friend Sarah said to me. 'you may be getting too ahead of yourself wait and see what your results are' (paraphrased because my memory sucks). I find out on the 1st what grade I got, e.g. 2.2 or a 2.1 although I don't get my module breakdown until the 5th. My ceremony is on the 21st and tbh I will be over the moon with my family in my cap and gown graduating along with all of my awesome uni mates. When I think back to the end of my second year, a 2.2 would be about right, but the way I have worked this year I will be extremely disappointed if I don't come away with a 2.1 not least because a 2.1 is a prerequisite to getting onto my Masters. I may however be able to get onto the course with a high 2.2 due to my form this year or do another Masters in another University, which will certainly be satisfactory. Hopefully though it will not come to this.

I wrote a to do list a few weeks ago after coming back from Download Festival I am slowly ticking it off.

"Nervous Breakdown Territory to do list"

-Write letters to old friends

-Fill in Career Development Loan Form

-Send off Disabled Students Allowance Form~~DONE

-Send off/ make copies of & finalise insurance claim~~DONE

-Find a job

-Sort out room & find my wallet ring and watch~~DONE

-Upload Download photos & tag them~~DONE

-Write blog~~DONE

-Find out wtf is happening with a certain person~~DONE

-Talk to Tom~~DONE

-Go to KGV & sort out work experience starting September 2010

-Get dissertation off Mum~~DONE & print new once's for Professor Frank Neal etc

-Talk to Dad~~DONE

-Speak to Becky

-Sort out London, ~~DONE Leeds, & Alton Towers

-Speak to Joe Benton MP~~DONE

-Finish John Lennon Application, get supporting evidence & send off

-Get off ciggies for good~~DONE

-Start application for Naval Reserves [HMS Eaglet]

-Apply for Edge Hill course in advance & delay it until 2011

-Join a new band

-Sort out all the stuff in my Nan's

-Go to the Dentist

-Driving Lessons?

-Read 3 books over summer

If I can achieve all of this I have had a successful summer :)

Not how I thought I'd feel :/

After 22 Exams, over 55,000 words of essay writing, 242 Lectures, 121 Seminars, a 13,552 word dissertation and 4 interviews it's all over... I have completed my Degree! Furthermore, I had a brilliant day. But I thought I'd feel different, thought I'd be so relieved but I am anxious and worried.

I have loads to do, apply for bursaries and money for my MA, job search. I'm thinking about thinks I have achieved over the last few years and all the wonderful people I have met and become friends with. Though I am also thinking more about people who I have lost, and some people who have come and gone along the way.

I suppose I should take a leaf out my own book and 'compare down not up' or again be enlightened by Gemski's words 'don't worry about people in the past, there's a reason they didn't make it into your future'. I don't know maybe this mini melancholy is down to my neo on-off relationship with nicotine, or maybe it is angst of some sort, I know financially I could be sounder and money shopping or job hunting is rather stressful stuff. Anyway's I'll be at Download come this Wednesday which will clearly be awesome :P Maybe by next Monday there will be a much more smiley post KD xx

What friends are for..

To make a load of shirt for your final exam saying 'I know the Legend that is KD', and wear them; that's what friend's are for, to listen to you moan about despite having everything still missing that thing, that's what friends are for, to come out drinking with you after your final exam, to hear you egotistically rant then shoot you down cause your being a wozzack, to fix the cut on your knee when you fall of the stage in krazyhouse!, to look after you at the end of the night when you wanna keep partying but can't stand properly, too see them after years pissed get a wide smile hug them and say 'ill see you soon dude, me n' him were in it together', to say 'KD now's the time to leave McDonald's' before the bouncers get you, to go home in a taxi with you, cuddling and having a laugh before you go to be suitably chastised by your nan', that indeed people is what friends are for. KD xx

I love you all :P

A stones-throw away..

Last exam tomorrow; although I am full of trepidation I am quietly confident. Is this an oxymoron? Revised what I needed to.. well went through and re-wrote lecture notes, that's the policy I have had all the way through the round of revision it seems it changes each times. I know what I need to do to get the top marks but it is a lot of hard work and involves making a type of picture out of info-takes an awful long time though it does pay off I once got 98/100 in a Politics module doing this @ A-level; it worked with Sartre too I just read Nietzsche and epically failed. Do you remember the days when you used to get 98% on exams and be gutted that some1 go 100%! I am now generally pleased if I get a 58 - 61. I have got all 2/1s in every essay this year and know I have done really well (possibly 1st in my dissertation) but exams are my downfall. I just hope they don't drag me down too much.

What will be, will be. I have had a kickass time this last year in Uni, and the experience as a whole has matured me, even if my radicalism has somewhat been diluted. When you think of how many people have failed or dropped out you know that nomatter what score you get tomorrow you will be a BA Honours... although hopefully I will do enough to achieve a 2/1 and get onto my MA course:

either way.. in less than 11 hours I will have achieved the minimum I wanted in life & I'll be free.

Approaching the finish line..

OK perhaps a rather egotistical title for a blog page, but.. I like it :P

In light of recent revelations I am so close I can smell it. Yes, soon my second phase of further education will be complete, but; Stress, stress and more stress. A million things are going on at the minute, my head is all over the place: it is Exam revision time, my least favourite time of the year when every little thing seems a thousand times more interesting than usual. Make no mistake procrastination has set in; hence the setting up of this page.

To add to difficulties I have been burgled a new experience and one I would not like to experience again if it's all the same to you Mr Burgler (see how sexist I am assuming it was a man). Luckily I have taken mitigating measures and taking up insurance at the start of the year; I can already tell however, that reclaiming my items is going to be a long, drawn out process. I do complain but it really could have been a lot worse. Whereas my PS3, Stereo System, Watch and Aftershaves being stolen is indeed an unpleasant experience, I was more concerned about their grubby little hands touching my personal, sentimental stuff which they went through, I assume for money or some sort of auto-erotic asphyxiation tool if they were Tory Burglers. Anyway's my photos and other sentimental items appear untouched. More annoying was how they ignored every other room in the house and made a beeline for mine.

It is 3.29am and I have not revised for a day, my mind has been elsewhere. I know when I am most happy and what makes me most happy has been absent for a while now; perhaps I am a strange boy, but whereas many of my sex would be content with what I am lucky enough to have become accustomed to over the last year, I am used to more and want it again. I seem to have sacrificed it for my academic progress this year, it has introduced itself in a few forms recently, but I have a certain form in my memory that I can't help but look back on with rose tinted glasses and try and recreate in a contemporary rejuvenated form. I seem to forget that it didn't arise easily last time, but when it did there was nothing comparable to it. Perhaps it will come to the for once again in the summer and a true smile will once again rise on my face. I have an absolutely kickass time at festivals, family meals, footy, the fair, party's etc but there is often a noticeable absentee.

I love my family and have some of the best friends in the world, but there is something to be said about the other person who completes you.